Well, lookie here... Happy 4 Month Birthday Baby...

Wish I was spending it with you... I wonder what you are doing? Are you rolling over yet? Starting to sit up by yourself? Have any teeth? Trying to Talk? Holding you bottle by yourself? CHANGING YOUR OWN POOPY diaper yet?

I only wish I could be there with you, or even better yet, have you here with us...

I LOVE YOU
Mommie

A Precious Thought

As you lay sleeping far away as still as can be,
How could you know the joy this photo brings to me,
A few short weeks, you'll be mine
and "I" will soon be "we",
How could you know the love I feel?
It's something you can't see,
So have sweet dreams, my precious babe.
Sleep well and tenderly,
Some say that you're the lucky one.
How could you know it's me?

By: Kris Laughlin

Anxiety Has Set In

We are at 31 days in PGN, and have had no word. I sit and watch many people come out of PGN that went in before me. Even though I have limited myself to checking the website 1-2 times a day, I can't seem to get it out of my mind.

I only pray that one day it will be my turn. And you know the funny thing about the forum... I won't find out if I am out of PGN there, I will get a call form my Agency. So you ask why I was checking the forum so much....

Everyone has a time line of events in there adoptions, this is what mine looks like:

Signed Application with agency - 1/5/06
Last Home Study 3/11/06
Home Study Report 4/6/06
Finger Printing 4/15/06
Left Adoption Agency 4/25
Signed On with WONDERFUL Agency 4/27/06
Referral Offered 5/6/06 (Birthday 4/27/06)
Redue Finger Prints 5/9/06
Appointment w/INS for Interview 5/16/06
171H 5/18/06
DNA Approved 6/6/06
Entered Family Court 6/20/06
DNA Match 99.99% 7/6/06
Pre Approval 7/14/06
SW report 7/21/06
IN PGN 7/24/06
1st visit 8/2-7/06
PGN LET ME OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So with everyone posting there time line, and then they post that they are out of PGN, I look to see when they went in. And try to judge when I should be hearing something. It appears people are getting out anywhere now 5-6 weeks... So on this coming Monday, I will be in for 5 weeks.... So that means, I should hear SOMEHTING.....

I know I shouldn't put my hopes up on this, because as I have been told, THIS IS NO SCIENCE.... And, if I should get kicked out of PGN for a typo or something stupid like that, I would be heart broken. I know Angelena will coming home... Soon.... But, I just want her home NOW...

Mom and I have decided that she will not be going with me to pick up Angelena. She will wait for me here in Texas. When we get home, Angelena and Me, we will then take a trip to California for her to meet family and friends.

Well that's all for now. Sorry to ramble... But, I need to get it out.

Good night!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Even though we thought that we would have Angelena home by my Birthday. It has not happened. Due to the unforseen circumstances that were beyond my control..... We all know about that OTHER agency....

Anyway, I am happy to report; I recieved an update on Angelena's Weight and Health

So here you go!!!



Aug 21, 2006

10.14 lb
Length 23.6 Inches
Head 15.4 Inches
Healthy mentally, physically and neurologically

That was a good Email to get today! Don't you all think so!!!

Hugs
Ellie

A PROMISE I MADE




I spoke to the agecny yesterday about a few things. Nothing bad... But, Olga... THE WONDERFUL CORRDINATOR made me promise, to stay away from the computer, or actually, the forums. I have been checking it daily, well, ok, every 15 minutes or so. She feels that it is going to drive me nuts, and she want me to be SANE and HEALTHLY for when Angelena comes home.

I have to admit, I have been obsessed with the timelines on the lists, ins-and-outs of PGN, Birthcerticate Re-Issue, Pink Slip Appointments and Visa Issues. If everything works as if Adoption in Guatemala was Uniform(which they aren't), I actually have figured it out down to the day that we should be coming home. That is if we don't get kicked out for anything... So, you see... There is no science to it, it is called OBSESSED..... So I need to believe in the agency, and stick to my 1-2 times a day!

I have a package I am sending to Guatemala this week. It was dropped off yesterday. I included a pair of earrings. The foster mother is going to pierce them for me. It is a tradition in Guatemala, and a sign of LOVE from the foster mother.

Well I am done for now!

Hugs

DAYDREAMING

I stepped into your room today
Knowing you are not there
This waiting for you Angelena
Is more than I can bear

But taking in the moment
I sat down on the floor
And dreamed of you here with me
When waiting is no more.

A little giggle fills the air
As I rub your little feet
I place my hand upon your heart
To feel its every beat.

A song is sung so very soft
Your eyes begin to close
My angel is meeting me in dream land
A place where love still grows.

My vision now is very blurred
The tears stream down my cheeks
I've dreamed of Angelena quite often
Throughout these past fews weeks.

Suddenly a sound is heard
The phone rings in the hall
Waking up I quickly pray
Please let it be "The Call".

.

.

.

This is a poem that was sent to me last night from my dear friend Ginger. She couldn't have said it more clearly. My heart breaks, and dreams continue, but I know that Angelena will be here sooner than later... She has too!

The ironic thing about this poem; after I read it last night, the phone rang, I was up stairs and I couldn't pick it up. I yelled down to mom to pick it up, and said "Please let it be THE CALL"... Well, it wasn't... But it completely put this poem into perspective.

I look at her pictures and not only dream on her as a baby coming home, but I invision our lives a month, year, 5 years, 10 years and 20 years form now, and think, our lives will never be the same again, and know that this IS a wonderful thing for both of us. For me, to have my ULTIMATE dream come true, and for her to have a life that she made not have gotten if her birthmother had choosen to keep her. Many people say, she is a lucky little girl... But actually, I AM THE LUCKY ONE!

And Grandma can't wait for that day either. She checks with me everyday to see if there is any news... The waiting is INCREDIBLE. It is even worse than when I was a little girl and couldn't wait for Christmas.

I love you Angelena, and can't wait for you to be home so we can start our life together, not only in heart!

Update on my Friend Ginger


For those of you who have been following my friends Gingers Adoption....


GOOD NEWS

SHE HAS CHANGED AGENCIES and HAS RECIEVED A NEW REFERRAL!

Yes, you heard me... She FIRED FAITHFUL ADOPTIONS, as I did.... Imagine that. And remember when I said, things happen for a reason... well we will never know the reason, but check out her new little one!

Maya Grace
Born 8/4/06 - LEO!!!












The Lion is considered the king of the jungle, and likewise you Leos have an air of royalty about you. Some Leos even have hair resembling the thick mane of the Lion. But Lions are more than roar, for they are truly magnificent beasts. The Lioness proudly cares for the young, hunts and takes care of survival with relentless intent and ferocity, when needed. And proud are you Lions! Perhaps that's why you often choose work that puts you in the center of stage or in the spotlight of appreciation.

Your sun sign is just one piece of your astrology profile. You could have your Moon, Venus, Mars, Mercury or other planets in Leo, too! A Birth Chart and Report reveals the complete you.

You Leos are warm of spirit, eager for action and are driven by a desire to be loved for what you bring to others. You are a magnanimous leader and a faithful servant. Once scorned in love, however, you'll withdraw your affections and the light, once brilliant, can go cold.

Your motto might be "What you see is what you get." You tend to live your live straightforwardly and with a flair for drama. In fact, many Leos are attracted to the theater, the performing arts and public relations, for you truly understand the importance of putting on a good presentation. As you blaze gloriously through your life, remember to take time to acknowledge the feelings of those around you. If you forget, you could unconsciously hurt someone you love. But, if you remain aware your impact, others can benefit from your presence.

I THINK WE ALL SHOULD GIVE HATS OFF TO THE NEW QUEEN!

Hugs
ELLIE

AS I PROMISED.... MORE PICTURES!


I know it has only been a week, but OMG... I never knew how hard it is to not miss Angelena. I feel like my heart has been ripped out and stomped on, then put back. I am so glued to my computer for any information that is posted about PGN...





I am please to tell everyone... on Wednesday there were a bunch of Releases from PGN, and them on Thursday, there were 200 cases released. No, not mine, but several people that I know through the forum have been released. It appears there are releases form people that entered into PGN in the beginning of July. Which means they are catching up their work. We entered PGN July 25, so with that, I am figuring (as long as we are not kicked out) we will be out of PGn in about 3 weeks, then the request the new Birth Certificate and we get our appoint with the Embassy and pick Angelena up.... So we can possibly have her home around Uncle John's Birthday!!!! God I can't wait.

For those who knew mom got hurt, she is doing better, She is getting stir crazy, but as the doctor said she needs to stay still and heal. I only hope this doesn't effect the next trip. If it does we will have to resort to another plan. SO everyone PRAY for us!!!

Bye for now.
Ellie and Angelena!!!

WHAT AN AMAZING TRIP

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There is so much I can say, but don't really know where to start. Angelena is Amazing, Healthy, Happy, Adorable, Sweet, Precious, Cute... I can go on and on...

We arrive in Guatemala at night went though customs, collected our belongings, and made our way through the crowds at the enterence of the airport to the shuttle bus and off to the Hotel. We checked in and went to bed... It was a very long night, knowing that I will be finally holding Angelena in my arms in the morning.

We were in the lobby by 9 am and waited and waited and waited... I ahve been told people in Guatemala have no sense of time... I finally called the interpiter 11:30 am and was told that they had been trying to call the room. Well guess what... We were told to wait in the lobby!!! Apparently there was a problem with the foster mother and she wouldn't be able to get to the hotel until 4:30 that afternoon.... So now what??? I know.... SHOPPING!!! Everyone knows me by now... My stress releaser is SHOPPING.. We walked to a Mall, and checkout some things, but alot of the stuff we could get here in the states, I wanted to buy some Guatemala stuff... So we went to a another section of the city and did some bargining!!! I got a couple of really cute Guat outfits and a blanket. They we went back to the hotel, waited some more, and then.............THERE SHE WAS 5:30 pm... I had my baby in my arms for the first time! OH MY GOD.... What an amazing feeling. Works just cannot express the feelings. We talked a little while with the Foster Mother, and then she left, and we had Angelena the time. I didn't let her leave my sight. It was so wonderful to bond and hold her. We went swimming, played in the community room, went for walks through the hotel, meet alot of wonderful family, had fashion shows, and just enjoyed our time together, getting to know each other. She is one of the sweetest and happiesst babies I have ever seen. She was even happier once she did #2!!! I changed the first one, Aunttie Ginger Changed the second one, because Cousin Lizzie Ran from it, and I sort of changed the 3 rd one... It was going on when she was in the bath... Lucky me! But, it wasn't really that bad. She does who ever like to be clothes free... I think because it was just so hot... Anyway... She slept anywhere form 7-10 hours a night. On the shorter nights it was becasue I was making noise to wake her up so I could play with her (haha). She even does RASBERRIES and makes lots of bubbles... I think she is starting to Teeth too! And that hair... It goes everywhere! She has so much of it!

The hardest part of the whole thing was handing her back. It completely broke my heart, and that is something I will never forget. My heart feels so empty without her, but I know she will be coming home soon. I do have that to look forward to.

I have well over 500 pictures, and 3 hours of video. I look at the pictures everyday, but haven't broke out the video's yet. I am saving those for the days that seem completely unbearable..... Well thats all for now, I will post more pictures later!!!

Hugs

ELLIE

THIS IS IT!!!

We officially leave tomorrow for Guatemala for a Visit! It is finally here. I can only hope that the airplane ride we had from Califonia isn't a sign of what is to come.

Note for people that don't know what happened: We got to the San Francisco airport Monday morning... AFTER fighting the Monday Morning commute to the City, dropped off the rental car, took the shuttle to the airport, lugging 5 suitecases, and mom in her wheelchair caring things too! We get to the airport to turn in out luggage, to find out our Flight had been cancelled! What... yep Cancelled!!! They found us 4 connecting flights all over the western United States to get home, LATE last night, or better yet, earily this morning.. But here are the kickers... We landed in Denver, and there was a security breach... So they wouldn't let anyone off the plane.... Then we had to wait 2 1/2 hours for the next flight... which I alraedy had the tickets, but I thought I would go up and see if we could upgrade.... Guess what... WE HAD INVALID TICKETS... WE WEREN'T even going to get the seats we had tickets for... Someone else alreay had them!!! To make this long story short, the 3 1/2 hour direct flight to get us home to get ready for Guatemala, turned into a 16 hour Airport Tour!

I can actually say, this is the first time in over a year, I slept till 12 noon... I did get up to call work and tell them I wasn't coming in. And of course check my email... But other than that.... SLEEP!!!

So, I am packing tonight, going to work for 1/2 day, then flying out to Guatemala to See ANGELENA!!!! YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

So be ready to see lots of pictures when we get back!

Hugs and Adiós

Ellie