FFF

This was a picture of Angelena when she was 2 months old. Look at how much she has changed in a year...

I LOVE YOU HONEY!

Ok... WHAT A DAY... and Night~!

Fist let me start by saying... Yesterday was a very long day... And then when I got home from work, the plumbers were there, they didnt' leave until 5:30 ish, and will be back today... Hopefully to finish up... Not to mention, we have been living out of an Ice Chest for about a week already... Our frig went out... Called MAYTAG, and they had someone come out and check it out... Apparently the MOTHER BOARD went out... and they have to order a new one. It takes a week to come... They will be coming back on Monday... Went to get something to eat... I figured out, I just can't stomach Fast Food... Angelena went with me, passed out in the car, I ate, changed her, did a few things around the house, and we went to bed... The night has started... Angelena tossed and turned all night... Need to be touching me the whole night... Not really sure what is going on... But I am thinking it is teething, as she is GRINDING HER TEETH... ALL NIGHT... She finally feel deep asleep about 4 am this morning...

Now for some pictures...

This is Angelena and her Cousin Danni. This was taken last year at Christmas... They seem to like each other then... Now... THEY LOVE EACH OTHER... They are only 2 months a part, and yes they fight like sisters... They pull eachothers hair, sucker punch, whack each other with toys... But when all is said and done... They ALWAYS KISS AND HUG AT THE BEGINNING OF THE DAY, AND AT THE END! They sure are great pals!

This next picture is when Angelena first came home... This is how she got her strength in her legs... This little bouncy can BOUNCE! As you can see, she wore herself out all the time when she was in this.

And this little picture was when we were doing Cheese Pictures right before Christmas last year... I love this smile... To this day, she has this same smile. It is so innocent, honest, and loving... I just love this little girl~! AND... I MUST SAY... SHE IS THE CUTEST LITTLE GIRL I HAVE EVER SEEN! (YES I AM HER MOMMY, I CAN SAY THAT!)

Well that is all for now. These were a few pictures I ran into when i was looking for some picture the other day... And... THis little girl is the Sunshine of my life!

HUGS

Happy Birthday Cindy

Well every year round this time... Thanksgiving, we would always celbrate Cindys birthday. This Thanksgiving, well let us just say, was different. We usually have a pray before we eat, or go around the table and share what we are Thankful for... Not this year... Don't get me wrong.. Thanksgiving this year was fun. Everyone got along, everyone eat... ALOT... Everyone pitched in and helped with Dishes, kids, food, etc... Then the dessert came out... We used to gather around the table and sign Happy Birthday... Not this year... I couldn't bring myself to even mention anything.

So, on this DAY, CINDY'S Birthday... I want to Celbrate and Be Thankful... So here it goes:

1. I am Celbrating the Life you had on this earth Cindy
2. I am Celbrating the Life you gave, Christina and Christopher
3. I am Celbrating the reunion of you, Christina and Christopher again in Heaven
4. I am Thankful for all the love we shared
5. I am Thankful you ARE a part of my family
6. I am Thankful you were there for Angelena's 1st Birthday
7. I am Thankful you we were not only In-Laws... But TRUE SISTERS
8. I am Thankful you came when ever we needed help
9. I am Thankful you aloud us to be a part of your life
10. I am Thankful we had so many years of being being a family - 30 years!

So, Cindy, I look around my house, and see TONS of boxes, with your writing on them. You are right there with us as I open each box to see what is really in it... Most of the boxes are marked storage... Because that is where they went... It never dawned on us to say Bathroom, Bedroom, etc... But, hey... We still had fun packing some of those boxes... HAHAHA... I can still hear you... "What the Hell is this?" I would answer... Don't know, just throw it in the box...

This year has been a long hard year. Wanting to be close to family, you were on of the people who came out and rescued us from TX... Drove back to CA with me... And, have been there for us... Now, I am here posting this for YOU...

Love you man... HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY SWEET SISTER...

BIG WEEKEND....

The movers came, and the head one has the nick name of Papa Smurf... And yes this name fit him completely.

The other mover was great to WATCH!!! You know what I mean!

They along with a few family members loaded and unloaded the truck at the new house....

We put up alot of the furniture, including a big girl toddler bed for Angelena... She don't like the crib, and has been used to sleeping in Momma's big bed, so what the heck... Well, needless to say... She LOVES the Toddler bed, but don't want to sleep in it... This is something we need to work on...

Our first night in our new house, was just Grandma, Angelena and ME... Then about 7:30pm on the second night... We had Angelena's cousins come and stay the night... 3 of them... HEHE...

Granted the house if full of boxes, the garage is packed to its seams, we still have our family around us. It was kind of sad to be leaving my sisters house, but it was good to be able to see all our stuff come out of storage.

Now, here is some ironic things that happened this weekend...

I walked into the house to shut off lights and lock up to go get some food for the house, and when I opened the door, Angelena's glider as rocking... I didn't say anything to anyone, and just giggled to myself... Then, of the um teen hundred boxes that weren't marked, the 2 main boxes that I really wanted to find; my 1 box that had my iPod and alarm clock, and Angelena's 1 box that had the 2 1/2 cases of diapers, wipes, socks and her favorite blankie that has been in storage for 5 months. Well, lets just say... these 2 boxes were in the correct rooms... Mine was in my room, and Angelena's was in her room... It was as if someone knew that I really needed these two boxes...

All weekend it felt weird. Cindy, my sister in law, would ALWAYS come and help us when ever we needed help. She was there when mom had surgry in TX, when we moved, when Angelena came home, Angelena's birthday, she came and helped us pack to go back to CA... Well, this time, with the move, I kept wanting to grab the phone and call her for help... A lot of the boxes were marked Storage, with Cindy's writting on it. It was so odd to see her writing, and now, I don't want to get any of the boxes... Well, right before I went to sleep last night, it dawned on me... Now that Cindy is in heaven watching over us... She is; 1 Laughing at us cause she didn't have to help... and 2 She made sure those 2 boxes were put where we needed them... I said, out load... Thank you Cindy, and I miss you so much... And I started to cry... and fell asleep. Last night was the first time I actually have come to realization, Cindy is no longer with us... I have been in denial...

Then I get to work this morning and get this amazing email.....

**We hope the necessary document will be in hand on Tuesday. I will let you know when the case is back in PGN. I will see and video her child on my December trip***

**I have no doubt that Ellie's case will be completed.. it wont’ be done by Dec 31 but this child will come home***

Thank you OLGA!!!! WE LUV U MAN!

FOTO FRIDAY...

I know I have posted this before, but this is my MOST FAVORITE PICTURE IN THE WORLD... Don't get me wrong, I love a lot of my pictures... But this one takes the cake...

Angelena had only been home 6 weeks when this picture was taken with my mom. The look on Angelena's face show the love for Gamma... And Gamma is so proud to be holding her youngest grandchild (AT THAT TIME)...

It is amazing to see them now, the love has even grown stronger... I walked in the front door the other day after work, and there was a picture I wish I could have gotten... Angelena and Gamma both asleep in the recliner... Angelena was cuddle up in Gamma's arm and they were both out cold! At night, I tell Angelena to go give Beso's for ni-ni, and she runs to Gamma, and acks as if she is going to give a kiss, and then starts to tess gamma, as if she isn't going to, but she eventually does, and gamma says wheres my hug... And sure enough, Angelena wraps her little arms around gamma's neck and lays her head on her shoulder... It is amazing...

I love my little peanut so much...

OH - More words I forgot to mention the other day...

Tank ou - Thank you

PEAS - Please

Ewww - Ewww

I am sure there is alot more, and when she says them I will be remembering them... Execpt for those that I caught her repeating me... Opps....

Have a great weekend everyone!

Angelena's Vocabulary...

With Angelena being 18 months old... You would think she would start putting words together... Some words are working for her... But she has this uncanning problem with GRUNTING and talking with her month closed... You see the way she holds her mouth above? This is the postition when hold it when she says YES... or better yet... uhha - meaning yes...

But with her mouth open she talks up a storm...

What she says = what it means

Bo ba = Bottle

Uic = Juice

NO = NO/YES

I Momma= I love momma

dawng = dang

wuv u = love you

De De = her cousin Danni

D'sa = her cousin Dasia

D'rse = her cousin Darius

Gama = Grandma

PaPa = her uncle Papa

NaNa = her aunt Nana

Ball = Ball

PeePee = Pee Pee

Duck = EVERY AND ALL BIRDS

Elmo = Elmo

Fart = Self Explainitory... (THANK YOU FAMILY)

Buggy = Buggers

Dog = Dog

Fuffy = Fluffy

Adios = Good Bye

Nite Nite = Good Night

Hola = Hello

Azul = Blue

Sit = Sit

Bo Bo = Baby Brother

and then of course all her non verbal hand motions and grunts... She points and grunts... Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with her...

Put it like this... I am holding her hand and ask her...

Angelena, do you have mommy wrapped around this finger(pointing at her finger)... her response.. Uhha... then next finger... Uhha... and so on... She know exactly what you are saying to her... She is amazingly smart, but she knows what she can get away with...

Now that we will be in our own place again, things are going to be changing... No more, running away from mommy, no more grunting... Girlfriend... You know what you want... say it~ AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING OF ALL...

She seems to be needing to to hold her every minute she is awake.. I have no clue where that came from? I walk in the house... She does this little dance, says Hi Momma... and then comes straight to me and DEMANDS TO BE HELD... She will grab my legs, start yelling and screaming, and stomp her feet until I pick her up. Sometimes I try to just hold her hand and tell her to walk with me... But no... She WANTS UP...

So, you see we have some issues to deal with. I just hated to make alot of changes right away, but once we are settled down in our own place, with our own stuff, and our own dog... (YEP HONEY IS COMING HOME), this will change. Just wait...

As for my previous post... Thank you to all the emails and comments. I realize that people in the Adoption world understands and feel the same way about alot of stuff... I THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT... WE LUV YA MAN~

HUGS
Ellie

FOTO FRIDAY

OK... Foto Friday...

I am trying to get my Happy Back... So it dawned on me... Foto Friday... IS for BOTH MY KIDS!!!

Angelena is carring her small ball, trying to see around it! She loves this ball... I have more pictures of her with this ball, but they are in my camara still!

And the next picture is Angelo, when I went to see him at 7 weeks old. Not many people know Angelo was not feel very well when I went to see him, and he didn't sleep much. But when he did, I took AMPLE pictures.

I wish I could post more current pictures of Angelo, but my agency has been able to obtain updated one for me recently. So, the only real pic's I have are from when I went to see him, his newborn pics and his Doctor appoint the first week on Aug.

Now onto more news...

We still have not been resubmitted to PGN, we are waiting for the SWI (social worker interview) in Guatemala...

Something has been really bothering me... Granted some people just don't understand the "Guatemala Adoptions" and "3rd World Country" statistics, and they really don't know what to say... But it really hurts when you hear comments and you feel you have to defend and explain to people consitantly... Lately, I just don't feel like I have the energy anymore...

These are some of the comments:

Why does that lady keep having babies? (THIS ONE JUST PISSES ME OFF… Are people that ignorant… We are talking 3rd world country)
You know she has to be paid for having kids?
Are you sure Angelo is still coming home to you…Did they give him to someone else?
So you are not in PGN anymore? What is the reason today?
When is he coming home?
Is he ever going to come home?
Why are you putting yourself though this again?
Isn’t Angelena enough?
Just wait; you don’t know what it is like to have 2 kids…
So is he all grown up now?
Just think, by the time he gets home all you will have to deal with is college…
It’s said that you are missing the entire first with him…

My head is hurting now, so I am going to hung up!

HUGS and HAPPY FRIDAY!

A GRAIN OF HOPE....

This was posted on the JCICS Webpage today...

November 7, 2007
Joint Council has continued to advocate for a rational and child centric transition to the Hague Convention in Guatemala. During our recent presentation at the Adoption Ethics & Accountability Conference in Washington, D.C., Joint Council called for the completion of adoptions in-process, the implementation of the Conventions core elements, an effective implementation date of April 2008 and funding for capacity building. We have continued to work with our colleagues in Guatemala along with members of the Guatemalan Congress in developing a functional child welfare system.

We can now report that members of the Guatemalan Congress, including numerous party chiefs, have submitted a new legislative proposal which;
- Includes a strong ‘grandfather’ clause,
- Designates April 30, 2008 as the effective implementation date of the Convention,
- Allocates $5 million Quetzales ($650,000 USD) for the creation of the Central Authority
- Allocates a percentage of the total government budget for child welfare services
- Creates a new government entity to act as the Central Authority in Guatemala
- Provides for private non-profit accredited entities to provide services to children,
- Allows single potential adoptive parents to apply for adoption,
- Creates a functional process by which children can find a permanent, safe and loving family.

The new legislation is scheduled to be introduced to Congress early next week. In line with our mission of advocating for the right of each child to a permanent family, Joint Council will continue to work with our colleagues in Guatemala towards a positive and child centric implementation of the Convention.

In otherwords, they are going vote on this, but it won't go into effect until 4/1/08... That give us some time, along with the New President of Guatemala being in office!

How did I do it last time?

My Mayan Calender just keeps moving, round and round...

It doesn't stop, yet time stands still,

Every moment I know nothing,

seems like a life time of waiting.

Knowing the Unknown,

Hoping for the Unknown,

Needing time to figure time,

The web that was woven,

Promises Broken,

Dreams Fading,

Prayers Saving,

Heart Aching,

Not Knowing,

Hoping,

Wishing,

Praying...

When will it end...

I have been filled with 1000 times of emotion, not knowing what to say, or how to anwer people... The past 3 months seem to be never ending, Constant Disappointment, Constant Lose...

I find thing to look forward to, and then have hope, then... BLAM..

Hit in the face...

I think I need a break...

I need a friendly face...

I feel like I am going to crack...

But guess what...

I don't have time for it~

Imagine that...

We will be moving in a couple of weeks, so this will take my mind off of things...

I am staying strong for my baby girl... And everytime I look into those beautiful Dark Brown Eyes, I say a little prayer that one day she will finally meet her siblings.

For, I am the youngest of 5, and wouldn't know what to do without my brothers and sisters. Granted, they don't all live close, and we don't talk on a daily occurance, but I know they are there.

Family is family...

Once I get my computer back up and running, I will be posting OH SO MANY PICTURES... My little princess is getting so big... And talk about her personality... I could go on and on with that one!

Just know... She is my Angel and my light! And yes, I am wrapped around her little finger... Index finger... Middle finger... Pointer finger... and yes even thumb... If I know what to call all her toes, I would say I am wrapped around them too!

She has been to a birthday party, her baptism, just playing with her cousins... SLEEPING... And of course her new funny face... She know what the word Fart is, and she make this really funny face, and pushes as if she is trying to break wind... I wonder which uncle taught her that???? OR, who taught her what a BOGGIE is...

Yes, even in church, she decided to dig for gold... OMG... OMG... Yes...

Broken Dreams....

I found out that Angelo's case has been kick out not for a cross out, or anything like that...

But--- This is word for word...

"PGN asked for an amplification of the home study (the one done there) and the case was in the first family court and this is the one that is most difficult to work with so we are working on getting what PGN needs.. until then, it won’t go back in"

I have been told that the Social Worker on the Guat side is the hardest to work with. They have NO time when this will be correct...

And Amplification...?? What could have been said that they need to have Amplified?

This is not happening....

It looks VERY grim that Angelo will be coming home anytime soon.

So, I am off to put on my Happy Face for Angelena... with my broken heart hidden.