OMG... I CAN'T BELIEVE I AM OUT OF HERE TOMORROW!!!!

These were the latest pictures I recieved of Angelo.

Notice he isn't as Yellow as he was in the first sets.

Yep... Same nose as Angelena... OH and did I mention the hair?

Look you can BARELY SEE HIS EYES OPEN!!!

YEP... SAME POUTTY MOUTH AS ANGELENA!

What are they doing.... Hello Kitty Blanket, Pink Blanket....THIS IS A LITTLE BOY!!!! I need to take some Boy Blankets!

I am packed... Ready to go... Wishing I was there already!

Come on CLOCK... I FEEL LIKE TIME IS STANDING STILL...

What else can a girl to do?

HUGS

In Memory of my Best Friend...

When I was 5 years old, I meet my neice for the first time. She was a little baby that had struggled to survie when she was born, weighing less than 2 lbs... Her twin brother didn't have the strength...We grew up together, she lived a full life... When she was 27 years old she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. She was strong willed, and faught the toughest fight of her life, but unfortantently, she lost the fight 3 years later.

She has in her own way shown and taught me alot. The most important NEVER GIVE UP... I see little things in life that reminds me of her... I keep her close to my heart, and will never forget her... Today she would have been 33 years old. She left behind a little girl, Kirsten Rae. I see Kirsten and she is just as amazing as her mother!

My Best Friend, My Neice, is in the Arms of the Angels, watching down on us... I can see her smile in my dreams, and her laugh is in my heart. I know she has always wanted me to have kids, we talked about it many times, and she knew I would never be able to have them except by Adoption. She gave me the strength that I never knew I had, and I have succeed with bring Angelena Christina home... And, now I will have the strength to bring Angelo Edward home.

This post in in Honor of my Sweet Angel in Heaven Christina, I love you and MISS YOU...

Happy Birthday Princess

Love you Aunt Ellie

Do They Really Remember?

Here is something that happened last night, that broke my heart...

Friday I received a video of Angelo, we got all excited and watched it... Angelena didn't really want anything to do with it at that time, she was more concerned about playing with all the kids. (her cousins were there visiting).... Anyway, by brother in law came home from camping, and he is fluent in spanish, so I told him, Angelena need him... So we all sat down in front of the TV, of course, I am up close so I can start and stop... Angelena in sitting on my lap...

We watch about 3 minutes of it, and I pause it, and my Brother In Law repeats what is said. I tell Angelena look there is Bo Bo... A nickname for now... and i notice her eyes are all watery... Then I start it again, for a minute then pause for more translation...

Well, to make a shorter story, Angelena starts SOBBING, not one of her normal crying, a sobbing... I wasn't sure why, and I turned to look at grandma, and grandma said do you want gramma? So I let her off my lap, and she ran to Grandma, she picked her up, and she turned to me and put her arms out to me. Grandma put her down and she ran to me sobbing... I just held her and rocked her... I started the movie again, and she CLUNG to me, and would take her eyes off of it.... I realized then, she either was frieghtened or remembers... Maybe because they were speaking spanish? Maybe it was the corrdinators voice she remebers... I really don't know what it was... I ended up crying, and felt completely guilty... But I know I shouldn't have felt guilt... Maybe it was because I didn't want Angelena to be upset....

Do you really think they remember? I pray to God that she don't regress after seeing it... I just want her to get used to the idea of her being a Big Sissy.

She has been home for 8 months now, and I know she knows I am her mommy, and would do anything in world for her... Yep, she has me wrapped around her little finger... And I wouldn't change it for the world!!!!!

So, here is a poll...

DO YOU THINK THEY REMEMBER THEIR TIME IN GUATEMALA, WITH THE FOSTER FAMILY?

Hugs

HO DOWN AT THE OL CORRAL

!!!!!!!!!!!!!BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!!!

There's Gonna be a Party.... At the Marriott in Guatemala!

DO YOU KNOW WHY????

MAYA HAS HER PINK SLIP TO GET OUT OF THE OL CORRAL!

Thats right Maya is coming home, and I am going to be there to witness this!!!!

Congrates to my dear friend Ginger and the newest addition to her family,

MAYA GRACE!

HUGS TO ALL....

Ellie, Angelena & Angelo!

For my Angelo

It started out a slit of light.

Stubbornly, it grew to a crescent.

In this June-July sky,

while I wait to see you for the first time,

its progress seems painfully slow.

Three-quarters now,

it will be full in three nights.

Then in reverse, it will shrink to a crescent before I travel.

Eleven long nights.

I have no power to speed the earth's shadow as it moves across the moon's face.

I think that I may notice each degree of progress.

The moon will be gone, the sun will rise,

They will bring you to me.

Is it true? I will hold you close to my heart,

I will feel you breath and finally believe,

You belong to me....

Until we meet sweet little baby boy....

Love mommy

I AM ABOUT TO POP!!!!!

First let me start by saying here are a couple of NEW PICTURES of Angelena....

Here she is IN A BIG BOX Looking up at me!

Here she is opening a Birthday Present I brought back from NY from My cousin Lyn and Kim

Looky here... Can you tell she LOVES THESE KINDS OF BOOKS?

Here is when we went to her cousins Hockey Game at the park! She still isn't that sure of grass... DID I MENTION.... THIS IS ONE OF MY FAORITE PICTURES!

NOW ON TO THE NEWS.....

What does all this make you think of????

I have a VERY VERY GOOD FRIEND, who will remain namelss (but you could figure it out in a minute) Is going to pick up her Daughter in Guatemala 6/28-7/3..... And has so graciously offered to pay my way... (If you have been reading my blog, you already know who it is!)

Anyway... It is only fitting, she was with me when I first met Angelena, and I was with her when she first met her daughter, she was with me when I picked up Angelena, and I will be with her when she picks up her daughter.... AND, she will be with me when I first get to meet Angelo!

Yep... I am going to be able to meet my son! Someone pinch me! Please.... I have never had a friend do something like this for me before... I am so greatful to her. The really funny thing about it, I sent her 3 gallon size bags to take with her, cause they were going to have the foster mother come and pick it up. So, now I have to go get more stuff for the trip, cause I will be there for a few days... WITH MY SON.... Yep.... MY SON... MY ANGELO... ANGELENA'S LTTLE BRO BRO.... MY NEXT PEANUT!!!!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH GINGER... WE LOVE YOU!!!!

Ellie, Angelena, and Angelo!

A Week Away...

Angelena- Have I mentioned lately... I LOVE MY PEANUT... She is an amazing little girl. She seems to grow up, and learn so much, so fast, and she retains it so well... Her little brain functions so fast, that her feet are starting to keep up with her. Her few steps have been changed to a ton. I think I will go and get her hips check again, I really don't think anything is wrong, they still click, not as much. She seems to be walking with her hips more than her knees. If that makes any sense. She like... what you would say... Wobbles as she walks... Kind of cute, but I just want to be on the safe side! This is something really fun... When she picks up something on the floor, all I have to do is say "Thank you" and she will had it to me... Well, now she is catching on, if she want to keep it... I would say "thank you" and she would go to hand it to me, then she clutches it against her chest, and turn around an run... I tell her, I am going to get you, and she starts running, laughing hysterically. She gets laughing so hard, her little feet get left behind, and she falls, rolls over on her back continuing to laugh, and then I start tickling her... She LOVES this game... She is the GREATEST THING THAT HAS EVERY HAPPENED TO ME... Guess what... I wake up this morning BEFORE she did! Now as I type this, I look at her little sleeping face, and her cute little hand, and just want to wake her up and play... BUT, I WON'T... She would be grumpy and I don't want that... We are going to go shopping this morning to to get Angelo so things... Aunttie Ginger will be taking them!!!! YA!!!!

Angelo- I did get a message from the Agency, they have a Video they are sending out to me. I haven't gotten it yet, but can't wait! From the other 14 second video I received, I was able to hear, "He was delivered C-Section" not really sure we know why, but maybe the video will reveal that. I am getting so excited about Angelena is getting to be with her little brother... FOREVER!!!! And, I will have my dream when I was a little girl... TO have 2 kids!!! A LITTLE BOY AND LITTLE GIRL!!!!!

New York-I have sent the week in NY training... SO MUCH FUN... I couldn't wait to leave, I missed Peanut so much. I had an early flight out, and was to be home by 10pm.... GUESS WHAT!!!! IT DIDN'T HAPPEN! First, we were told the plane had mechanical problems, so we had to switch planes, they had to move the luggage, then we all had to go to a different terminal, and wait for 45 minutes for a new plane, then we get loaded, and pull out and sit on the run way for 2 hours... The Pilot informs us that it is because there was a back up on the run way, and then, we are told we are next, then all of a sudden, the engines are turned off, and we are told everyone was grounded and we weren't sure how long it was going to last. Come to find out, the FAA computers crashed and the backup systems weren't working either, and they had to manually enter all the flights into the systems... I think I was pretty lucky, at least I was on a plane out on the run way, come to find out, there were a ton of flights that were cancelled... All in all, I ended up getting home at 2 am...

Family- While I was in NY, I had an oppertunity to visit and have dinner with a very special Cousin, I haven't seen her in about 4 years... She is an amazing person... I had the oppertunity to see the most amazing look of happiness and peacefulnes on her face. It is something you don't always see now adays in people. People are always in a rush, and don't take the time to live life... I think she is living her life to the fullest! I just love talking to her and her friend. I talked about a lot of stuff... Our minds were going 100 miles an hours trying to catch up on things. IMPOSSIBLE!!!! THEY ARE AN AMAZING AWESOME COUPLE... They would send Angelena gifts from the very begining... Home Coming, Christmas, Easter, Birthday... When I was in NY they gave me her Birthday present, and whe I got home, I let Angelena open it, and she got the cutest little smile when she opened ther Tails Book! I got it on camara, and will post it once I get my pictures down loaded... We went to dinner at the FABULOUS RESTURANT.. 79 Candles... I WOULD RECOMMEND ANYONE THAT GOES TO NY, to got to this restuarant. FAMOUS PEOPLE EVEN GO THERE!!! You know when you are in NY, and you see famous people, you aren't suppose to approach them... IT is some silent rule... Anyway... This was a very awesome night! Which brings me to the next topic...

Vegan- For someone that is a meat eater, like me... more of a white meat eater... The restuarant we went to in NY was Vegan... I LOVE IT! It actually gave me something to think about... As long as you don't know the really name of things, and just eat it... It is really good! Then when you start to discuss why are some of the reasons people are Vegan, it really gets you thinking... I think I could handle eating like that... And the next day when I went to eat... I felt GUILTY! Kind of like, looking at the food in front of me, and wonder, what were and how was this food had gotten to this place... That is all I am going to say on this topic. I am going to look more into this, and try a few things! I will keep you posted! I am not saying I am going to be Vegan... or at least not right now....

Pictures- I have pictures of Angelena and the kids and will post some soon... I have to get them down loaded...

Milk Update- Angelena is up to 4 oz of milk and 4 oz of formula mixed... We are proceed well... But I can tell you... THEY MAKE BIG MESSY DIAPERS!!!! Or it could all the Human Food she has been eating lately... Not really sure.... But.. Boy, "Stinky Ass" sure is keeping her END of the bargin... And most of all Keeping that NICK NAME!!!!!

That is all for now.... GUESS WHAT>.... SHE IS STILL LAYING NEXT TO ME PASSED OUT! I was able to type all this with out her help!!!!

HUGS

Questions and other thoughts...

First... HOW DO YOU GET A BABY OFF FORMULA?

The doctors told us to start givining her whole milk... SHE DON'T LIKE IT... she would rather have the formula... This is a fighting battle in the house... AND WE ALL KNOWS WHO WINS THESE BATTLES....

Paper work... After all my paper work has been completed for Angelo, sent off to the state for them to Certify it and then to get it Authenicated... GUESS WHAT... I get a call Friday on my cell phone for the Secretary of State, and of course I don't have my phone on, and don't realize there was a call until late in the evening... All the messages says is, who it was and she had something to discuss with me about my paperwork... And here I was thinking it was already on its way to Guatemala... Oh, and did I tell you... It is Friday... Don't know if you all remember back when I started Angelena's adoption... Weekends in the Adoption world SUCKS... Everything stops and days are wasted.... So now we have to wait till Monday to see what the heck is going on...

Angelena... Have I mentioned lately just how much I love this little peanut? She has an amazing little spirit... Or should I say HUGE SPIRIT! She loves to kiss, smile, laugh... oh and RUN!... She knows where my buttons are and yes she KNOWS how to push them!!! She even knows how to push the buttons on the computer when I am trying to type!!! She is my little goof ball! I so love to wake up on a Saturday Morning with her face looking at me... Like... WELL, are you going to get up and play with me? She kisses me until I wake up, this morning, I fate sleeping to see what she would do... And guess what... She stood up and leaned over and kissed me, and then thought she was going to get off the bed... All I said was... what are you doing, and she started to laugh! Opps... I slipped... Yes she is sleeping with me in my bed... I don't know where to start on this one.... When we were in TX, she would take naps, and sleep at night by herself in her own room, with her night light on. When I finally got to CA, she wouldn't let ANYONE put her in her crib, she sobbs when you put her in there... It breaks my heart, so I started to let her sleep with me... Then in the middle of the night, I would put her in her crib... OF COURSE, if she ALLOWS IT... Sometimes she will have a fit and want to get out of it, and I give in... I was told this change was due to a few things... 1) the seperation from her Birthmom, 2) then the seperation from her Foster Family, 3) then when we moved to CA, I sent her and grandma ahead and meet up about about 2 weeks later... So, it seemed that everytime she felt secure, something would change... Now not only did she miss me, but her room has changed, and yes even her crib... (I broke her crib so I had to get a new one)... She is even throughing Temper Tantrums, yes... she thoughs herself on the floor, and screams and kicks... Kind of Cute, but not good... I think everything is going to just take time again to adjust and she will be fine. Today we are going to go a watch Angelena's Cousin John play soccer. Then we have to come back home and do some things around the house to get ready to go... see below....

New York... Well I have been back with Angelena now for 3 weeks, and now I have to leave her again for a week... I am going to NY for some training. I will be there for a week, and then fly home Friday night... Can't get home fast enough...

Angelo... I wonder what he is doing, what changes has he made. I did get an update and was told, he lost a little weight, he is now 5 lbs. The doctors gave him some Iron and Vit. for him to start to grow. They also indicated that he had New Born Jaundice, and shouldn't worry about it, the foster mom was directed to put him in sunlight. I am starting to get the itch of going for a visit, but financial I just can't. I DO GET TO SEND A PACKAGE TO HIM... MY VERY GOOD FRIEND GINGER, will be going to pick up her daughter Maya in Guatemala at the end of the month, and the agency has agreed to let the foster mother pick up the package... Ginger will be there waiting for her to come, and she may be bringing Angelo, and Ginger said she will get TONS of pictures for me! Kind of exciting, happy and sad, all in one... Exciting - someone is able to actually see how he is doing. Happy - Aunttie Gin will get to be the first person that will get to meet him... Sad - I wish I could be there to meet him too.... Ginger was with me the first time I meet Angelena, I was with Ginger the first time she meet Maya, and Ginger was with me when I picked up Angelena... I only wish SO bad that I could be there when Ginger picks up Maya, and meets Angelo.

CA... I am home, and am SO happy to be here... I get to see all my love ones, and not rush to see them... We actually get to have time to visit. Everyone is getting so big.... I was asked yesterday how old one of them were... I said I really don't know, I have lost 2 years... I don't even know what schools they are in anymore... Kind of crazy I know... But weird... And, there are HILLS.... LOTS OF THEM... I go across the bridge everymorning, and think, I have lived her for 30 something years, and never really appreciated the views... I have come to realize that I took alot for granted, and then realized how much I really missed CA... The green hills that turn brown in the summer, the days you can drive your car to work with your sun roof open, I was here when the newest bridge opened, and I get to be here when the next new bridge opens latter this year... I get to go to the Pow Wow downtown, the famers markets, flea markets, hearing the dolphins and seals in the winds in the early morings, (we live closed to Marine World), wake up in the moring hearing the birds sing and the wind chimes chiming...I see the ships coming into the bay and docking, I read the names on them and see where they came from. I see the Moth Ball Fleet a float, and think, there is alot of storys behind each and everyone one of those ships out there, I got to be here when Delta and Dawn found there ways under the bridges and back out into the ocean... (Whales that were lost and swam up the Sacramento river). I only thing that I really miss alot is my dogs. We couldn't bring them were we are staying, so my brother and aunt has been so gracious to allow us to leave them with them until we can get out own place. Jasmine is 15+ years old, and has some health problems. I need her to be with me, as I know her time is going to a close soon, and she was one of my first baby's.... Honey is starting to get artheritis in her front legs, and needs to take medicine now. I look at there pictures all the time.

TX... Almost a good bye, but not completely. The house still hasn't sold. And I have friends that I will always love... And only wish I know why people change over night... It seemed that the minute a few people found out I was leaving TX, they became distant. But, that may just be a way they cope with things... Kind of sad, but understanding. And, my BLOG FRIENDS THAT ARE IN TX!!!! MANY HUGS TO THEM TOO!

Thats enough for now.... As I said above, I will be in NY for a week, and will not have much access to the computer. SO HUGS TO ALL, and will miss you!