Monday, June 25, 2007

Do They Really Remember?

Here is something that happened last night, that broke my heart...

Friday I received a video of Angelo, we got all excited and watched it... Angelena didn't really want anything to do with it at that time, she was more concerned about playing with all the kids. (her cousins were there visiting).... Anyway, by brother in law came home from camping, and he is fluent in spanish, so I told him, Angelena need him... So we all sat down in front of the TV, of course, I am up close so I can start and stop... Angelena in sitting on my lap...

We watch about 3 minutes of it, and I pause it, and my Brother In Law repeats what is said. I tell Angelena look there is Bo Bo... A nickname for now... and i notice her eyes are all watery... Then I start it again, for a minute then pause for more translation...

Well, to make a shorter story, Angelena starts SOBBING, not one of her normal crying, a sobbing... I wasn't sure why, and I turned to look at grandma, and grandma said do you want gramma? So I let her off my lap, and she ran to Grandma, she picked her up, and she turned to me and put her arms out to me. Grandma put her down and she ran to me sobbing... I just held her and rocked her... I started the movie again, and she CLUNG to me, and would take her eyes off of it.... I realized then, she either was frieghtened or remembers... Maybe because they were speaking spanish? Maybe it was the corrdinators voice she remebers... I really don't know what it was... I ended up crying, and felt completely guilty... But I know I shouldn't have felt guilt... Maybe it was because I didn't want Angelena to be upset....

Do you really think they remember? I pray to God that she don't regress after seeing it... I just want her to get used to the idea of her being a Big Sissy.

She has been home for 8 months now, and I know she knows I am her mommy, and would do anything in world for her... Yep, she has me wrapped around her little finger... And I wouldn't change it for the world!!!!!

So, here is a poll...

DO YOU THINK THEY REMEMBER THEIR TIME IN GUATEMALA, WITH THE FOSTER FAMILY?

Hugs

8 comments:

nikki said...

Wow, I really didn't think that they could remember that long ago, but maybe.
I think I will do my own experiment and play one of Olivia's video's from Guat for her and see. I'll let you know how it works out.
Poor Angelena, sobbing like that!

Ginger--Maya's mommy said...

Poor baby!!! I think they may remember some things. Maybe the Spanish triggered something.

Farrah said...

Maybe she had strong feeling because it is her Bio brother...Maybe she felt that in her heart. Kids are dumb they know what is going on. Somethings we wonder about Madisyn...Like she hates anyone with a hat on,,WHY I wish we knew...

Poor little baby sobbing...

Kim said...

That's a really good question. Wow - I also wouldn't have thought that she would have had that strong of a reaction. Poor thing.

Wendy said...

Angelena has always been amazing. She may not realize that it is familiar to her or even why it upsets her, but deep down the sounds may have triggered the emotions. She may worry that you are taking her there to be with him, or replacing her with him. Kids fears are so different than ours. Just keep reassuring her, talking to her, etc. Poor baby.....

Gail said...

I don't think they actually remember but there are triggers there that spark emotions. Don't know if that makes sense or not.
Gail

bodegalee said...

Way LATE in responding.. I'd have to find.. but as you know we've done some AT and I've done a ton of reading/research (even professionally as an RN CM before being a parent as some of my patients were dealing with attachment issues).. NOT saying that's what's going on here, but one of the key things for so many of our kiddos is PTSD (mild to extreme.. totally ranges).... I just read something that indicated that native language no matter how young they are when adopted, can trigger PTSD symptoms... For my son when he was about to go off to preschool, so in another big transitional sep-anxiety phase... he had MAJOR issues being around anyone Asian (and of the preschool teachers was..... that's about when we started AT).. Again not in anyway saying that's what going on with your sweetie, but I do truly believe that sights, sounds, smells can *trigger* past memories that are stored causing grief, yet not even necessarily a cohesive memory (i.e. we still have some of these moments at 6 and it's difficult for him to describe what's happening in his head.. PM me if you'd like more info)... Take good care.. It's sooo hard to watch our little ones suffer.. yet understanding why.. is such a HUGE part in their healing! Take care!

Carrie, Rich and the Kids said...

I don't think their brains are developed enough at that age to understand or remember. I do think they react to Spanish though. Savannah always perks up whe she hears Spanish, like it is something familiar, but it isn't a negative reaction.

Something else could have been bothering her or she was just being a toddler or something about the video did upset her because she just doesn't understand. I don't think it is anything to be concerned about though.